Happy Couples Do These Things
Sunday, Apr 09, 2017
How do we ensure our relationship is going to remain or again become, happy, safe and secure?
While too many couples delay couple therapy believing it is only when the relationship is ending while truth be known, smart couples’ check-in with each other in a session once a year. We know we do better at the gym with a personal trainer, and we also cook better following a recipe, so why not use a therapist once a year to keep us connected and on track. Using a therapist to check-in, discuss unresolved issues or even find a mediation agreement for any disagreement subject certainly allows the couple to reduce any damage before done and revive their connection.
The wrong belief too many couples hold is that you go to therapy when you can’t resolve matters yourself. So wrong. Years of living together can manifest with poor communication habits that addressed early can be corrected to ensure both partners are heard and understood correctly thereby limiting any damage in the relationship occurring. Therapy can assist all couples to set good, healthy and beneficial patterns that can last the lifetime of any marriage.
There are some ways to ensure you and your partner remain connected and correctly communicating to allow each of you to feel heard, understood and respected.
There are some important things to know, to grow that loving, strong and happy connection:
- Never stop earning the love of your partner – Understanding that the spark and connection between you need to be developed and regularly enhanced is essential. This means both partners make an equal effort for the other every day.
- Really listen to each other – When you need to discuss something, notify your partner you wish to speak
- Never tell them they are wrong – Your partner has opinions and beliefs perhaps some different to yours
- Laugh together each day – laughing can ease tension and bring a fun side to most subjects
- Appreciate – when we notice and appreciate the things, big and small, our partner does and says, it demonstrates appreciation
- Treat other with respect and empathy – Empathy is understanding from their position, feeling what we believe they would feel
- Have the difficult conversation about money- Many couples do not have the finance or money talk until such time as it becomes necessary or is a problem
- Stop the Arguing – an argument is caused by at least one person saying ‘you must do, feel, say, behave and act like I require you to and if you don’t you are wrong because I am correct’. This is inappropriate.
Read more from Dr Karen